Olympics Closing Ceremony – Canada (tries to) Class it Up

Well, it finally came to an end. After months of build up and two weeks of nonstop coverage of sports that are only important once every four years, the Winter Olympics (coming to you from unexpectedly warm Vancouver) wrapped up on Sunday night, turned up the lights, cleaned up the spilled beer, and politely started showing party goers to the door.

But not before an ending ceremony spectacle to end all Olympic spectacles!

To be fair, I came into the celebration a little late (apparently missing Avril Lavigne and Nickelback, to which I can only say “thank you” to my pal whose traffic jam kept me from heading to the bar sooner). But I got there in plenty of time for some seriously ridiculous Canadian spirit. Without going into too much amazing detail, here’s a rundown of the highlights. These were moments when viewers had to wonder if Canada is really in on the joke of their existence. Otherwise they’re just really excited about beaver balloons on ice skates.

- Michael Buble’s Canadian Rockettes

Like a Halloween costume gone wrong, these girls took Mounties to a new, slutty level

- Maple Leaf Mermaids

The pages I could write to explain why maple leaves don’t require women strapped to them would be lengthy enough, but put those women in coral red wigs and a green onesie, and I could post a dissertation on poor taste. Sadly (or thankfully) no pictures were available.

- Mounties on Ice

Does Canada have nothing else to represent it to the world?

- Fake Hockey Match (and requisite fight)

Oh, that’s right – hockey, too.

- Canadian Thanksgiving Day Parade

Thankfully Santa didn’t make an appearance at the end of this huge balloon rip-off

- Human-Sized Hamster Balls

With a lit up human inside. It looked like a blast to try, but really, what inspired designers for this idea?

Overall, I can’t hate on Canada for the ceremony, since they are inherently a bit cheesy and certainly difficult to pull one together. Plus, they did throw in the entirely random, but definitely appreciated, appearance of Canadian opera and ballet stars. Of course that was mixed in with the giant beavers on ice, so there was probably room for improvement.

*By Jesy, who accidentally watched curling on at least four separate days during the Olympics.

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