Thursday, May 17, 2012

No. Just no.

September 3, 2009 by jess  
Filed under Latest Articles, Music

Meet Candi Lynn.

The best album cover since Brooke Hogans Redemption.

The best album cover since Brooke Hogan's "Redemption."

 

Here’s her official bio from her website.  Whoa, her very own website!  I’ve highlighted the areas that are beyond the limits of my meager comprehension.


In today’s world of music, art and creativity is seemingly produced by the conglomerates of the record business. 
It seems that the realness in music is missing. Every once in a while an artist emerges with the passion for music needed to bring it back to the good old days. Singer/songwriter Candi Lynn has held this passion close to her since she was nine years old. Writing poetry and singing around the house during her adolescent years has turned into something unique. She writes her own Lyrics and creatively puts melodies and rhymes together.  She mix’s singing and rhyming to the extent of creating a new genre that she likes to call Hip-Pop.
At the age of sixteen Candi Lynn’s mother/manager threw Candi on stage at an open mic in Philadelphia, the great response to the South Jersey girl gave her mother/manager Carrie Ariemma the confidence she needed to launch and manage a music career for her daughter. With Carrie Ariemma’s business mind she gained from opening a successful nightclub in Atlantic City since 1995, Carrie started independent record label ILL Miss Musick for herself and her daughter.

Now at the age of 21 Candi Lynn has an amazing album called “ILLMissBehavin” set to release this August. The album is fun, sexy and edgy.
Candi Lynn created a diverse mix of songs for her album.
Her first single “Hey Gurl” a fun, sexy Girl Anthem is set to hit radio in the Mid Atlantic Region this July. Her music video for Hey Gurl, was filmed in Queens, NY and Atlantic City NJ. The Video includes a cameo appearance from rapper
“Mr Cheeks” from The Lost Boyz, who also has his solo hit single “Lights, Camera, Action.”  Once Candi Lynn’s radio campaign begin’s in July, Candi will be hitting the road in her Gulf Stream tour bus. With tour plans in the works, talks include venues throughout the Mid-Atlantic region. The tour will be adding shows to an already impressive list of performances. Candi is currently represented by CEG Talent Agengy out of NYC. For Booking contact Sal B at Sal@cegtalent.com. Candi Lynn recently performed at Drexel University for a scholarship fund raiser. Candi also teamed up with The Hip Hop Summit Youth Council to promote education through The Read to Succeed Program, at a high school in Queens, NY

Candi Lynn’s debut album “ILLMissBehavin” was produced
by Chris “The Hitman” Conway.  A list of his past clients in the industry include but are not limited to, S.W.V, Mary J. Blige, Lauryn Hill, Busta Rhymes, Fat Joe, TLC, and he was Grammy nominated for engineering on album of the year “Marshall Mathers LP”- Eminem.  Candi Lynn’s debut Album “ILLMissBehavin” was recorded at Conways, Big, Fat, Suite Studio’s  in Brooklyn, and also at world renowned Chung King Studios NYC. Candi and Chris came together and created a unique sound, blending Pop, Hip-hop, and Rock together creating something the world has yet to hear.
If Candi Lynn had to be compared to other artists that are out today, she would be considered a cross between Fergie, Britney and Pink.
With Candi’s passion for music and a down to earth out look on life. Everything Candi Lynn and Carrie Ariemma have achieved so far, is a recipe for super stardom. Her music is sure to take the world by storm. Besides her talent and passion Candi says she owes a big part of her success to her mother for believing in and giving her all the support needed. Candi Lynn’s influences have helped to give her the motivation needed. They include but are not limited to, TLC, Christina Aguilera, Alanis Morresette, Veronica, Beyonce, Fergie, Jay-Z, 50 cent, Eminem, Rise Against, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Pepper, and many more.
Young, beautiful, down to earth and talented…Candi Lynn appeals to the masses.

Here are some of Candi Lynn’s videos.

 

 

This one is for “Jump on the Train.”  Check out the symbolism!  I studied similar things in Shakespeare lectures in college, but this is way more fun than Hamlet, amirite?!

 

Check out the sexy, hot “My Body.”  We already know what her navel looks like–in both sand and snow!–so imagine the wonders that lurk within the rest!  And get a load of that guitar intro.  Ooh baby.

Here’s the best one.  This is for “Hey Gurl,” where she’ll have you “spinning in a twirl” with her white girl caricature dance moves and recessionista lingerie.
I am so happy that the conglomerates of the record business can’t handle the hottness that is Candi Lynn.  I am so happy that music executives can’t quite grasp all of her Jersey Freshness.  ILL Miss indeed:  It left me a little sick to my stomach, and it’s almost too good to be a hit outside of a Turnpike truck stop.

 

*By Jess, who thinks Count Chocula–dessert and breakfast in one–may be the greatest food ever invented.


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Comments

4 Responses to “No. Just no.”
  1. candace says:

    being someone is actually is named candace lynn aka candi lynn myself, I want to vomit at the fact that little bitches like this even exsist. Now I want to change my name…dammit

  2. candace says:

    being someone that***

    that’s how I meant to start it lol.

  3. candace says:

    I wish I could say something intelligent about this, but I simply can’t. After watching these videos my IQ has drastically dropped

  4. beast says:

    I’ve seen way worse surprisingly sad