Like Say Anything, Alisha Kills, Kills, Kills Little Girls

I’ve returned to talk about a rising issue in today’s music scene: the tween fans. Many of you I assume are roughly my age – young 20 somethings, and have years of experience attending concerts and knowing the proper way to act. But it seems a new era has risen beyond my belief. The crowds and fans these days for bands are getting younger by the minute!

I first noticed how young music fans were getting at Bamboozle in 2008. That entire weekend I thought I was in the twilight zone. Everyone dressed the same, looked the same, behaved the same, and weren’t more than 16 years old. I even saw parents roaming around the festival chasing after their youngens. I was pretty shocked to say the least. And then this past weekend I experienced first hand how annoying this growing population of teeny boppers could really be. They’re really out to take over the world you guys, and we can’t let them!

Now don’t get me wrong if you like good music, then awesome, I don’t care how old you are. But there are certain expectations and behaviors that should be followed regardless. And these new fans are just making the rest of us look bad. So please let me go over a few rules that everyone, especially you tweeny fans, should abide by:

1. Don’t wear a shirt by the band you’re going to see at that concert. We all know why you’re there and whom you’re there to see. Obviously you like the band playing so you don’t need to go around bragging that you’re a fan. We get it.
2. If you’re tall, please don’t stand in front of us small folk. I’m 5’3” and you’re 6’10” please stand behind me. Don’t be a jerk and stand RIGHT in front of me and block my entire view, have the decent courtesy to move to the side or go behind me. We’d like a fair shot of watching the band too ya know!
3. Do not cut me, say “excuse me” and then stand in front of someone. I see you girls holding hands with your best friend dodging and swerving in and out of the crowd to get up close. You want to make your way up to the front, that’s cool but don’t pretend to be nice and say, “Excuse me” and proceed to stand right in my way. It’s actually one of the most infuriating things to experience at a show.
4. Don’t act like a fool. It’s very easy to get excited when seeing one of your favorite bands live but that doesn’t mean you need to act like an idiot. I guess these tweeny fan girls just have it in them to act very immature, but it’d be nice if they didn’t. Running around a venue screaming and hitting boys you secretly wanna bang isn’t cute, and certainly isn’t approved of. So please remain calm in your spot and just enjoy the live performance about to start.
5. Keep the parents away. Aww that’s so sad that you don’t have a car to get around because you can’t get your permit for another three years, but get an older sibling or cousin to drop you off at the show. Don’t force Mom and Dad to not only TAKE you to the show, but also make them buy a ticket so they’re forced to babysit you the entire time, watch you drool over the guys on stage, then drag you back home when it’s way past your bedtime. You make us older kids feel awkward having to stand next to your drunk parents and deal with their comments and obvious aversion for being there. You also hold up traffic after the show trying to find them in the parking lot. So just leave the ‘rents at home sipping wine where they belong.

*By Alisha, who just got yelled at by a woman on the train for not sharing her tiny seat, damn my commuter life!

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